Lallier Adventures

Do you have a mental list of “nevers?” You know, those things you tell yourself you will never do? For example, I will never eat three star Pad Thai, I will never leave my house messy before going on a trip, I will never drive a minivan…those sorts of things. If you know me, you’re laughing at my expense right now. I have a little story for you about surrendering a few major “nevers” to Jesus. These two major nevers were, we were never going to be a lead pastor and I would never move back over to the west side. The reasons behind the nevers are complicated and overall irrelevant to the rest of the story. The point that matters is God took those nevers and asked if I would trust Him.

This year my husband Nick and I made the decision to step down from his ministry role at the church we had been at for the past three years. It was a difficult decision especially because we were unsure what our next direction should be. We knew it was the step God was calling us to take but the lack of “what’s next” made it difficult to explain the decision. Nick and I felt content to sit in the unknown for a bit. We began planning a little vacation to the west side to see some friends and have some time together to rest. In the midst of vacation dreaming, Nick received a phone call from our Pastor that we grew up with, inviting Nick out to coffee. After getting caught up on all the transitions in our little sphere, our pastor shared that there was a little church on the west side that was looking for a pastor. Nick reminded him that he was not interested in being a lead pastor. Our pastor understood but said they also needed some guest speakers to fill the gap while they continue their search for a new pastor. The timing fit perfectly with the trip we were working on planning, so Nick agreed to guest speak.

From the minute we walked into the church, God began working on our hearts. We walked out of the service drawn to the people and the church.  I vividly remember telling Nick as we pulled out of the parking lot, “I’m mad, I really liked it there.” Nick laughed and questioned my anger, and I told him I was afraid that God was going to call us there. We spent the rest of the vacation talking and praying about this little church that was on fire for Jesus. I voiced my fears about him being a lead pastor, about moving again, about leaving family and just about change in general. I also voiced about how the timing of everything had God’s hand in it, how I felt drawn there in a way that I cannot put words to, how it all felt like a missing piece finally was connecting all these other God pieces.

I am going to pause for a minute to fill you in on a few of these “other pieces.” First, my “word” for this year was rooted change. I know that is technically two words, but it is what God spoke to me for our year. Rooted Change: building up my foundation, deepening my roots with Jesus to prepare for the change. My verse to go with it was my life verse, Jeremiah 17:7-8. Second: Early in the year, I wrote a note to Nick after a particularly hard day. In the note, I wrote: God is using this season to push us into a radical dependence on Him. I think a change is coming and God needs us to get to where we have a secure, confident, unwavering, undistracted dependence on Him. It’s going to be messy, there’s a learning curve but He is here to help us. No matter the cost, no matter what people think, I want Jesus to pour out of all that we do. Third: each time Nick and I started to pursue a career option that involved us leaving ministry, God kept shutting the door. There are a few other things that I cannot remember off the top of my head. Needless to say, God began early in the year preparing my heart for a change, the change just ended up being much larger than I could have ever dreamed.

Back to the story, we got home from vacation and Nick sat me down and said, “on the count of three, I want you to say, out loud, what you think God is asking us to do, and I will do the same.” And on the count of three we both said that God is asking us to put our name in. So we did! Can I just say, from that moment on it feels like we have been in a whirlwind. God’s hand was on each step of the process from the application, to the interviews, to the candidating weekend. We took a step of faith and put our name out there and the church unanimously voted to accept us and have Nick as their new lead pastor. That whole process was a God story in and of itself that maybe I can tell at another time but needless to say our family is getting ready to embark on a whole new adventure. We have already begun to be so graciously embraced by the people at Mountain Valley Chapel and we are so excited to begin doing life with them and growing together in Jesus.

Currently I am surrounded by boxes, attempting to get ready to fit our lives into a Uhual. There are still some unknowns, some very big and some small. When I start focusing on the details and the “what if’s” I start to feel like Peter attempting to walk on the water but watching the waves. When I keep my focus fixed on Jesus, the peace that we are walking with Him and He can sort out the details floods my heart. I know He’s called us to this so we do not have to fear what may come.

Can I leave you with some encouragement? Radical dependence on Jesus does not always mean He is going to ask you to pack up and move, or quit your job, or walk away from a friendship, or give away something important. Sometimes He does call us to do these things and sometimes He calls us to be radically faithful and stay right where He has planted us even when it is hard or everyone else is leaving or it makes no sense, but you know it is what He’s calling you too. Radical dependence is just saying yes to Jesus, no matter what. Just be careful what kind of “nevers” you start throwing around.

Much love,

“Attempt to do something so great for God that it’s doomed to fail unless God began it.” ~Randy Pope

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” ~Theodore Roosevelt