Hear ye, hear ye, I’m almost 30! That’s right everyone, my birthday is just around the corner and I am officially exiting “young adulthood.” No need to worry, I am not one of those souls who fears getting older. I thoroughly enjoy celebrating my birthday. I’m grateful to have another year to live, love, learn and grow. I’m glad to be older and (hopefully) wiser and stronger. Each year I grow more into who God created me to be and I know Him more deeply and intimately and that is a wonderful gift. My grandma has a quote in her bathroom that I have always loved and it says “never despise growing old, it is a privilege that is denied to many.” I enjoy celebrating that privilege. Balloons, banners, candles, and cards, my family always goes all out for birthdays. This year, before I enter my 30’s, I want to take a moment to pause and reflect on where I have been and look forward to where I am heading.
I have experienced a lot in during my 20’s. I graduated college, spent a month in Europe, got married, gained many wonderful in-laws, experienced painful tragedy, moved across the state and back again, discovered a sister, had a baby, spent countless summers on the Oregon Coast, gained a nephew, struggled with health issues, experienced high highs and low lows. The best part is, what I see no matter what the memory is, is Jesus. He is and was present in every good and in every bad. He was and is faithful, unchanging, guiding, providing, correcting, interceding, forgiving and loving. I am grateful that I have such a long history with Him. My 20’s taught me much about who I am, who God is, and who I am becoming. I still struggle with some strongholds in my mind but its power over me weakens as I continue to learn more about who Jesus is and seek to become more like Him. The hard and painful lessons of my 20’s helped build my faith and my confidence in the God I love and in how He sees me. I have learned where my giftings and passions intersect. I have learned to dream big dreams and to not apologize for them. I have learned to trust Jesus no matter which way the road bends. I am grateful for the lessons of my 20’s and excited to see what decade 3 holds.
My future lies ahead in the midst of a fog. I am unsure what is at the end of the road God currently has our family on. We have hopes and dreams but no guarantees. We are grateful and happy to be back in Spokane. We know we are supposed to be here but do not have any specifics beyond that. God is moving back the fog only one foot step at a time. Thankfully I have always loved the mystery and beauty of fog. And, even in the midst of the uncertainty, there are a few things I know. I know I love being a wife. Nick and I have walked through a lot in a very short amount of time. God is growing us up quickly and teaching us much about what love is and what it is not. I know I love being a mom. Benaiah has been a great joy and a crazy adventure that is just beginning. My strong, joyful, stubborn boy is 6 months now and teaching me something new every day. He is finding his voice (proudly and loudly proclaiming his first word as “da-da”) and I in the process have also been finding mine. Learning who I am as a mom is in tandem teaching me who I am as an adult. I know God is equally sovereign and good but allows free will. I know choices do not occur in a vacuum. One person’s actions effect countless circumstances around them. Knowing all this can sometimes make it hard to make a decision or to not be bitter when the choices of others hurts us. I choose to trust God in the midst of it all (easy to say-working on the day-to-day living it out.)
There are a few areas in my life I am reevaluating as I enter a new season of life. Top of my list are my social media accounts. Right after Nick and I moved back to Spokane, we took a break from social media and honestly it has been a breath of fresh air. Moving forward I have decided to delete both my Instagram and my Facebook. There are many reasons behind this- wasting too much time, I compare too much, it is an unrealistic picture of someone’s life, I really don’t like the companies policies, article that stress me out pop up too much…there is more but you understand the general idea. I am planning on keeping up with the Lallier Adventures Blog (and am aiming to update more often) so you are more than welcome to subscribe and follow that but I also really enjoy phone calls and coffee/walking/hiking dates so if you want to catch up let’s not be virtual about it anymore. I also am attempting to get myself back on a healthier path. For some reason in the midst of keeping my kid fed, clothed and growing I find myself struggling to spend the amount of time I want to with Jesus, drink enough water, work out, eat the right kind of food…hopefully as my life settles into its new rhythm I will find a routine for us. I’m always open to helpful tips!
I am genuinely excited to celebrate my birthday! For the past few years I feel God whispering to my soul, “the best is yet to come.” I am anxious to see, to know, what the future holds but I will keep taking my small steps forward, holding onto the hands of my Savior.